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Sunday, June 1

The Consequences of Making an Emotional Choice



Perhaps you've said something like this before..."But I love him..."  or maybe you've said something like this before in regards to a choice you were about to make... "This FEELS right,  therefore it must be right, RIGHT?"

Feelings are great, but feelings can also be tricky.  Living your life being led around by your feelings alone can get you into a world of trouble, and can ultimately cause you a lifetime of problems.

Consider a coaching client's situation. Let's call her Hazel for the sake of this example. Hazel was young and beautiful yet stuck in what she felt was a love-less marriage. Her husband had stopped paying attention to her in ways that mattered to her. Instead of seeking help to repair her marriage Hazel simply started to become bored. She longed for adventure, and boy did she find it.

Hazel hooked up quite accidentally with a charming, yet deceptive man who:
   1. Showered her with expensive gifts
   2. Wined and dined her
   3. Told her often everyday that he loved her and that one day he would make her his woman

Well, needless to say, Hazel was smitten, or should I say bitten by what she thought was love, based on how this man made her feel. She chose to see in him everything she felt was lacking in her husband, and she fell, deeper and deeper into his tangled web of deception.  Her emotions were involved, and even though deep down inside she knew it was wrong, she couldn't help herself. 

It took a long time before this man was actually revealed to her for who he really was. Up until that point, she simply couldn't see, and refused to listen to anyone who would try to tell her the truth.  It took a crash course in reality which included a hit in her finances before she was able to see the truth.  By that time she had lost her marriage, her career, and much of her money. Not to mention the respect of her family and friends.  Had she listened to wise counsel, had she heeded the warning voices in her own head, she would have avoided much of what she eventually went through as a result of being involved with him.

Fortunately through coaching, Hazel was able to recover her life and regain her self- respect, but it wasn't easy.

This is just a simple story.  Maybe you can relate to it on some level. Perhaps you can look back over your own life and see when and where you made an emotional decision, and how much it cost you.

Emotions, as wonderful as they can be, need to be guarded because when they are allowed to go unchecked they can cause us to do some irrational things. Love with your heart yes, but don't forget to involve your brain.  Trust your gut yes, but don't throw caution to the wind.  Above all, don't drive through warning signs, because they are there for your protection.

I talk a lot about chasing your dreams on DrJackisBlog, and I believe that we should chase dreams, with all my heart.  But when chasing your dreams consider these things as you coach yourself through the process:

*Am I chasing the right dream
Ask yourself this coaching question: "Is this something that I have a right to have?"

*Am I being driven by my emotions
Ask yourself this coaching question: "Have I ignored wise counsel from others who have my best interest at heart,  am I suppressing my own inner voice?"

And most importantly...

*Is God in it
Ask yourself this coaching question: "Is this truly a blessing from God or am I simply trying to make it fit because it's what I want."

Emotions are wonderful.  By all means, feel the joy, the happiness, the love, the excitement in all of it's beauty. Just don't ignore that still small voice inside of you, because when you choose to ignore it, it will leave you to your own devices, until one day you will wish you had paid more attention to the warning signs that were trying to tell you "danger" up ahead.

Much Success!
Dr. Jacki

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Speaker, Writer, Teacher Coach - Dr. Jacki inspires and motivates in the areas of personal & professional development.

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